Author Archives: Phil Reebius

Back From Another Lengthy Break

Many podcasters do seven or eight episodes and then disappear. You probably thought that happened to us. Well, for a while it did. Now we’re back. Sorry for the delay. Life sometimes has a way of making itself a priority and you can’t say no to that. In this episode, Rita and Phil discuss a variety of things including work, life and the attendant frustrations. All in all, we’re glad to be around, so we can’t complain. One of the things we’ve been dealing with the Alzheimers and aging parents. There will be more of that to come, but for this episode we wanted to just get our sea legs back. Please enjoy this episode and prepare yourself: we have more ideas for some fun episodes and topics.

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PG-009 Musical Impressions

Hello everyone!

Can you believe we’re actually putting out two podcasts within a 4 week period? No shit! Well, part of it is due to the fact that we recorded a longer than usual show on New Year’s Eve. Then it took us forever to get it together. We decided to divide it into two shows. Trouble is, in between all this, there was a parade of death. David Bowie, Lemmy Kilmister, Paul Bley, Paul Kantner, Glenn Frey, et. al.

In this episode we start the discussion of what our most influential musical connections are. In some cases, as with Rita, we look at the perfect albums. Phil talks about experiences with music. Keep in mind, none of this is comprehensive and it is all subject to continued discussion. There is much to discuss. We love music. I think our collection includes over 1000 LPs, well over 1500 CDs, hundreds of cassette tapes, and yes, we still have 45s. Not the largest collection in the world mind you, but we have invested in tunes.

This episode also includes a new Shart Industries commercial. They love us and we love them. They have proven to be very big supporters and sponsors of the Prehensile and Gretel Show.

One thing Phil wants to correct: he makes reference to WZMF radio, back in the 60s and 70s; it was indeed out of Menomonee Falls, Wisconsin, not Milwaukee, as Phil states on this episode.

At any rate, we hope, as always, that you enjoy this episode and if you have any comments or suggestions, please send them to comments at prehensileandgretel.com

We might have a contest coming up soon!

Thanks to all of you who’ve been listening. More good stuff coming!

Special thanks to our secretary Blanche Nesbitt and also to Barry Flavonoid, who plays the role of our loyal Schnauzer.

Artwork provided by the amazing, incomparable Wesley Wong.

-Phil and Rita Reebius

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PG-008 Fine pickings from the internet

Hi everyone! Gosh dang, it’s been a long time since our last post. And we apologize for that. This episode is the first half of a longer piece we recorded on New Year’s Eve, if you can believe it. Things have just gotten out of hand and well, it took a while. Plus, Phil was all obsessed with the various transitional elements of this episode and he lost control of time. Seriously, this was recorded on New Year’s Eve. And we still have another piece, the second half, to go, which will come out soon. You’ll also hear things on this episode that will sound like anachronisms but that’s because we talked about them before some major changes happened in the world. Then, because we were tardy in getting this out, it sounds all fucked up. Sorry. You’ll know what we’re talking about when you hear us tallking about it. December and January have been brutal for the music industry. Enough said.

Well, in this episode, Phil shares some interesting shit he found on this thing called the “internet.” There are all kinds of things out there. This involves boogers. But we think you’ll enjoy where it comes from. And then you can look it up for yourself and be amazed too.

We also start to get into some discussions about music. But mostly this is about boogers. And nasty habits. Please note that if you’re only interested in hearing adults talk about boring adult stuff and how their children are perfect and how they make 3 meals a day on only 3 dollars, then this show isn’t for you. We’ll save you the time.

We sure hope you’ll enjoy it and we also hope you’ll continue to be patient as we get our shit together and get you more episodes of The Prehensile and Gretel Show.

Also, please enjoy our new artwork created by the awesome Wesley Wong. Thanks Wes!

-Phil and Rita Reebius

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By popular demand: Clarifying Guidance from God

Hi everyone! We’ve had several requests to have the “Clarifying Guidance from God” email reproduced in “printed” form. This is an email we received from God and felt compelled to pass along. It was read in episode 5 and it seemed to resonate with many of our listeners. Also, there are more espisodes coming soon. You have to understand, we have jobs and shit. Anyway, on with the guidance, direct from God him/herself: so here you go!

-Phil and Rita Reebius

 

Clarifying guidance from God

 

Hello, I know this finds you well because I know everything! I notice that over the past few decades things have gotten a little out of hand and it might prove useful to have these clarifying notes. Most of this applies to what you call “The Ten Commandments” and to your bible, but I think you’ll get the picture. Please note that this clarification was created specifically to address the situation and interpretation of my intent as it currently exists in what you call “The United States of America.” Other socio-political entities are receiving versions of this message tailored to their needs.

  1. Stop killing each other in my name or for any other reason. I mean it!
  2. You have no me-given rights to guns. They serve only one purpose. See number 1 above.
  3. I don’t care about your politics. Stop dragging me into it.
  4. Churches should pay taxes. There, I said it.
  5. Stop ann0ying people in my name. If other people don’t want to hear your delusions about me, respect that. Also, refusal to give up your delusions does not make you stronger or smarter. I gave you a brain, now use it!
  6. I have no preferred countries or religions, and none of you are more special than the other.
  7. I am a busy being. The reason I made you as smart and clever as you are is so that you can take care of things on this planet while I’m off doing other things. I trust you as stewards of my creation. Now stop messing it up!
  8. All creatures have a purpose and are not here to be exploited for your pleasure.
  9. I don’t care about sports. Never have. Never will. So don’t look for me to help your favored team win the Super Bowl or whatever. I don’t care. I do however, hate the Cubs, and have cursed them. Sorry. I’m not perfect.
  10. Some of you don’t believe in me, and that’s okay. See number 5 above.

 

-God

 

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PG-007.5 Hidden Track

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PG-007 Back from beyond wherever

Yes, it’s been way too long since the last episode and we’re very apologetic about it. Too much going on. Sepetember was crazy with volunteer activities and then October came and went. Rita and I have been anxious to get another episode your way. So here it is!

In this episode, we jabber about several topics. We cover Halloween, Patti Smith live, kids, dogs, and much more.

Plus, we start to zero in on our sponsors, Shart Industries. Shirley Shart has been an elusive sponsor, but our secretary Blanche talked to her so we manage to find out from her that she has Shirley’s phone number.

Thanks again to Shart for sponsoring the show! Two new commercials make their debut and we’re proud to be the only podcast sponsored by Shart! If people can be all excited about the commericals for the Super Bowl, they can be excited about this too damn it…

Since it’s been a while, we did a longer, bonus length episode for you to enjoy.

Let us know if you have any questions for us or for Shirley Shart. We plan to give her a call soon.

Thanks for listening!

-Phil Reebius

(and Rita)

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PG-006 Phil reads Randy Scuffle and a walking tale

Hi there,

Rita couldn’t join us this time around because she’s been super busy with volunteer work and this is the high-season for the Berwyn Historical Society and their annual Bungalow tour. That takes place September 27. You should go!

Okay, I admit I’m a walking snob. I walk fast and I want everyone to get the hell out of my way. But I’m polite about it! I share a walking in Chicago story.

I’ve promised (threatened) to do this before and this time I finally come around to fulfilling my promise. In this episode, I read a handful of letters from The Randy Scuffle Papers. Randy basically lives in his mother’s backyard, and he is an artist whose main material is meat. He loves hot dogs. He invents things. he has plans to save the world. Randy is a nut. Well, no, not really, if you read the book you’ll see why. I hope you enjoy these samples. Let me know what you think!

Don’t forget, if you have any comments, send them to us at comments at PrehensileAndGretel.com. You can also reach me by writing to phil at philreebius.com which, by the way, is also a blog I try to keep up with and promise myself I will be more consistent about in the future. When does the future start?

-Phil (and Rita) Reebius

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PG-005 Odd food products, God speaks and basketball

Hi everyone! This episode is a good one, with a variety of memories, commentary and juvenile behavior.

Food: Phil and Rita frequently talk about food and this is no exception. In this episode we manage to discuss Hamdingers, Orbit gum, and the kind of food you cannot eat as an adult because of some unfortunate incident in your childhood. On the topic of Orbit, Phil says he saw commercials for this gum in the 70s in the upper midwest of the US. According to Wikipedia, Orbit was introduced during WWII, then discontinued after the war. According to the article, Orbit was reintroduced in Germany, Switzerland and Holland in 1976. During the last of the 70s, it was available again in the US, which is when Phil saw the robot commercial playing frequently. Then, due to some cancer scare, it was taken off the US market again until 2001. It’s only gum. How can it give you cancer?

God’s latest guidance: Phil reads the contents of an email he received from God, which aims to clarify some of the original intent, at least as it needs to be cleared up in the US. Warning, if you think God wants you to start wars, kill people, abuse animals and speak through politicians, you’ll probably be offended. Too bad.

Freaks, geeks, jocks, and drama club: Shit, life in high-school sucked sometimes. Phil and Rita discuss some of the more unpleasant shit that happened back in the day. At least to them. Also, to Phil’s basketball coach, a special “fuck you” message that has, and shall continue to endure for a lifetime.

Okay, that’s it this time. Next time out, Phil may do a reading from his book, The Randy Scuffle Papers. He’s also working on the audiobook version for your consumption while exercising, driving, or eating popcorn and watching the squirrels navigate the obstacle course you designed in your mom’s backyard.

-Phil Reebius (Rita sends her love)…

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PG-004 Juvenile Flatulence and Childhood Woes

It’s been a bad couple of weeks, so Phil and Rita start off with some juvenile humor. Hey we’re all still 12 years old.

Celebrity farts: We play the game and make some noise perfect for laughter around the dinner table.

Sickness: We touch on our summer colds which put us out of commission while we should have been recording podcasts. Sorry. At least we’re on the mend. So now we’ve done farts and sickness. Where does it lead next?

Food: Of course! Food! Rita makes an awesome amazing Vietnamese noodle salad she found on allrecipes.com. A couple of tweaks to fit our palate and we’re good to go…when we find the exact recipe we’ll update the link. UPDATE: here’s the link to this really tasty Vietnamese noodle salad.

Injuries around the home: Of course Phil’s memory is forever stained by injuries caused by those who should love you. This leads to the next topic however.

Parents: They can be bizarre with the way they raise you. If you confront them about it however, they have no memory of your agony. Then we’re on to food again with Quisp and Quake. Look it up.

Puppet chutes: No explanation required!

Still more food: In order, we cover chocolate eclairs, dirt, glue, paste, Silly Putty and seaweed.

On Wisconsin: The formerly progressive state that is probably not so much any more…

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PG-003 The Fourth of July Show

In this episode we welcome our new sponsor “Lightnin Buggzzz,” the “Diaper With A Social Conscience.”

Plus, we dive into the following topics:

Fireworks: What would the 4th of July be without fireworks? And what would it be like in a state in which fireworks are completely illegal, so nobody has them at all, right, because everyone is a law-abiding citizen, right? Well, not in our neighborhood. Actually this year was a relatively quiet one, but you’ll hear a few clips recorded in our back yard. Other than that, the safety people are always happy to blow up a watermelon!

The Randy Scuffle Papers: Yes, we pitch the book, but not too hard. Just a brief discussion of the concept and some discussion of bologna and meat as art. You really should check out The Randy Scuffle Papers. Phil also has a blog he updates every once in a while. Check that out too!

ICD-10 Codes: More ICD-10 codes. This time Phil and Rita have a plan to take down the entire healthcare system’s ability to monitor disease. You can help. Project Orca is underway.

Spam Haiku: Rita had a great idea last episode. She thought some of the garbage found in spam emails might contain unintentional haikus. Well, she was right! Phil found a few and reads them to her with love. Even the dirty ones.

Jenny Seay: We say goodbye to Jenny after an 8 year run as the genius behind the Tamale Hut Cafe Reading Series. Hear Phil learn to say the word “cafe.” Seriously, Jenny, you will be missed and we will do all we can to keep things entertaining. Bon voyage!

NOTE: we were experiencing some audio distortion on earlier episodes; this episode has been recorded at a higher bitrate, and that should solve any problems. The downside is it is a larger file. You can either have it small and shitty or big and awesome. Right now we’ll try big and awesome.

That’s it for this episode. Share your thoughts at: comments at prehensileandgretel.com, or here on this blog in the comments section.

Thanks!

-Phil and Rita

 

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