Tag Archives: prehensile and gretel

February 9, 2016 · 8:14 pm

PG-008 Fine pickings from the internet

Hi everyone! Gosh dang, it’s been a long time since our last post. And we apologize for that. This episode is the first half of a longer piece we recorded on New Year’s Eve, if you can believe it. Things have just gotten out of hand and well, it took a while. Plus, Phil was all obsessed with the various transitional elements of this episode and he lost control of time. Seriously, this was recorded on New Year’s Eve. And we still have another piece, the second half, to go, which will come out soon. You’ll also hear things on this episode that will sound like anachronisms but that’s because we talked about them before some major changes happened in the world. Then, because we were tardy in getting this out, it sounds all fucked up. Sorry. You’ll know what we’re talking about when you hear us tallking about it. December and January have been brutal for the music industry. Enough said.

Well, in this episode, Phil shares some interesting shit he found on this thing called the “internet.” There are all kinds of things out there. This involves boogers. But we think you’ll enjoy where it comes from. And then you can look it up for yourself and be amazed too.

We also start to get into some discussions about music. But mostly this is about boogers. And nasty habits. Please note that if you’re only interested in hearing adults talk about boring adult stuff and how their children are perfect and how they make 3 meals a day on only 3 dollars, then this show isn’t for you. We’ll save you the time.

We sure hope you’ll enjoy it and we also hope you’ll continue to be patient as we get our shit together and get you more episodes of The Prehensile and Gretel Show.

Also, please enjoy our new artwork created by the awesome Wesley Wong. Thanks Wes!

-Phil and Rita Reebius

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December 21, 2015 · 3:47 pm

By popular demand: Clarifying Guidance from God

Hi everyone! We’ve had several requests to have the “Clarifying Guidance from God” email reproduced in “printed” form. This is an email we received from God and felt compelled to pass along. It was read in episode 5 and it seemed to resonate with many of our listeners. Also, there are more espisodes coming soon. You have to understand, we have jobs and shit. Anyway, on with the guidance, direct from God him/herself: so here you go!

-Phil and Rita Reebius

 

Clarifying guidance from God

 

Hello, I know this finds you well because I know everything! I notice that over the past few decades things have gotten a little out of hand and it might prove useful to have these clarifying notes. Most of this applies to what you call “The Ten Commandments” and to your bible, but I think you’ll get the picture. Please note that this clarification was created specifically to address the situation and interpretation of my intent as it currently exists in what you call “The United States of America.” Other socio-political entities are receiving versions of this message tailored to their needs.

  1. Stop killing each other in my name or for any other reason. I mean it!
  2. You have no me-given rights to guns. They serve only one purpose. See number 1 above.
  3. I don’t care about your politics. Stop dragging me into it.
  4. Churches should pay taxes. There, I said it.
  5. Stop ann0ying people in my name. If other people don’t want to hear your delusions about me, respect that. Also, refusal to give up your delusions does not make you stronger or smarter. I gave you a brain, now use it!
  6. I have no preferred countries or religions, and none of you are more special than the other.
  7. I am a busy being. The reason I made you as smart and clever as you are is so that you can take care of things on this planet while I’m off doing other things. I trust you as stewards of my creation. Now stop messing it up!
  8. All creatures have a purpose and are not here to be exploited for your pleasure.
  9. I don’t care about sports. Never have. Never will. So don’t look for me to help your favored team win the Super Bowl or whatever. I don’t care. I do however, hate the Cubs, and have cursed them. Sorry. I’m not perfect.
  10. Some of you don’t believe in me, and that’s okay. See number 5 above.

 

-God

 

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November 28, 2015 · 11:23 am

PG-007.5 Hidden Track

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November 10, 2015 · 4:53 pm

PG-007 Back from beyond wherever

Yes, it’s been way too long since the last episode and we’re very apologetic about it. Too much going on. Sepetember was crazy with volunteer activities and then October came and went. Rita and I have been anxious to get another episode your way. So here it is!

In this episode, we jabber about several topics. We cover Halloween, Patti Smith live, kids, dogs, and much more.

Plus, we start to zero in on our sponsors, Shart Industries. Shirley Shart has been an elusive sponsor, but our secretary Blanche talked to her so we manage to find out from her that she has Shirley’s phone number.

Thanks again to Shart for sponsoring the show! Two new commercials make their debut and we’re proud to be the only podcast sponsored by Shart! If people can be all excited about the commericals for the Super Bowl, they can be excited about this too damn it…

Since it’s been a while, we did a longer, bonus length episode for you to enjoy.

Let us know if you have any questions for us or for Shirley Shart. We plan to give her a call soon.

Thanks for listening!

-Phil Reebius

(and Rita)

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August 18, 2015 · 12:15 pm

PG-005 Odd food products, God speaks and basketball

Hi everyone! This episode is a good one, with a variety of memories, commentary and juvenile behavior.

Food: Phil and Rita frequently talk about food and this is no exception. In this episode we manage to discuss Hamdingers, Orbit gum, and the kind of food you cannot eat as an adult because of some unfortunate incident in your childhood. On the topic of Orbit, Phil says he saw commercials for this gum in the 70s in the upper midwest of the US. According to Wikipedia, Orbit was introduced during WWII, then discontinued after the war. According to the article, Orbit was reintroduced in Germany, Switzerland and Holland in 1976. During the last of the 70s, it was available again in the US, which is when Phil saw the robot commercial playing frequently. Then, due to some cancer scare, it was taken off the US market again until 2001. It’s only gum. How can it give you cancer?

God’s latest guidance: Phil reads the contents of an email he received from God, which aims to clarify some of the original intent, at least as it needs to be cleared up in the US. Warning, if you think God wants you to start wars, kill people, abuse animals and speak through politicians, you’ll probably be offended. Too bad.

Freaks, geeks, jocks, and drama club: Shit, life in high-school sucked sometimes. Phil and Rita discuss some of the more unpleasant shit that happened back in the day. At least to them. Also, to Phil’s basketball coach, a special “fuck you” message that has, and shall continue to endure for a lifetime.

Okay, that’s it this time. Next time out, Phil may do a reading from his book, The Randy Scuffle Papers. He’s also working on the audiobook version for your consumption while exercising, driving, or eating popcorn and watching the squirrels navigate the obstacle course you designed in your mom’s backyard.

-Phil Reebius (Rita sends her love)…

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August 3, 2015 · 8:56 pm

PG-004 Juvenile Flatulence and Childhood Woes

It’s been a bad couple of weeks, so Phil and Rita start off with some juvenile humor. Hey we’re all still 12 years old.

Celebrity farts: We play the game and make some noise perfect for laughter around the dinner table.

Sickness: We touch on our summer colds which put us out of commission while we should have been recording podcasts. Sorry. At least we’re on the mend. So now we’ve done farts and sickness. Where does it lead next?

Food: Of course! Food! Rita makes an awesome amazing Vietnamese noodle salad she found on allrecipes.com. A couple of tweaks to fit our palate and we’re good to go…when we find the exact recipe we’ll update the link. UPDATE: here’s the link to this really tasty Vietnamese noodle salad.

Injuries around the home: Of course Phil’s memory is forever stained by injuries caused by those who should love you. This leads to the next topic however.

Parents: They can be bizarre with the way they raise you. If you confront them about it however, they have no memory of your agony. Then we’re on to food again with Quisp and Quake. Look it up.

Puppet chutes: No explanation required!

Still more food: In order, we cover chocolate eclairs, dirt, glue, paste, Silly Putty and seaweed.

On Wisconsin: The formerly progressive state that is probably not so much any more…

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June 23, 2015 · 4:29 pm

PG-002 Vegetarian Options

In this episide of Prehensile and Gretel we unscientifically examine a wide range of topics that, without any prior planning, ended up loosely connected to food.

Lemons and Limes: Juice, zest and the summer sun. Vince Van Patten gets a mention in this segment. This episode was recorded just a day before we heard the news of Vince’s father, Dick Van Patten passing away at age 86. Our condolences to the family.

Beans: Well, not so much as you normally think of them. Rita remembers hearing the word used as slang for drugs, possibly barbiturates. Possibly amphetamines. We don’t know cause we never used them…

Spam: Phil does an impromptu dramatic interpretation of garbage words embedded in spam. Possibly some haiku coming of this for a future episode?

Vegetarian options: We pull a phrase from our universal box of all that is good and noble get the phrase: “vegetarian options.” Tofurkey anyone? This also  leads to organics and GMO commentary from Rita and Phil.

Farts: What becomes of all the food? It depends on how well you chew. Phil and Rita discuss a game they play at home!

If you have any comments our email is comments at prehensileandgretel.com. We welcome your suggestions!

Thanks for listening!

-Phil and Rita

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June 9, 2015 · 6:25 pm

PG-001 Geology of the Cranium

Here it is. The very first Prehensile and Gretel show. We cover a lot of ground in just 20 minutes:

ICD-10 Code Mockery

These are the codes used to describe medical conditions. Some of them are funny. If you google “funny ICD-10 codes” or “stupid ICD-10 codes” you can find a whole lot of complaining about it. We reference this book: Struck by Orca: ICD-10 Illustrated. Not by name of course, because Phil couldn’t remember the name of the book. Or half of what he’s trying to talk about here. This particular book is at Amazon here: http://amzn.to/1dXLYKe

Barbie and Ken Heads in Special Places

There’s probably an ICD-10 Code for that too, although no one will admit it.

Kung Fu Fighting

This references an old song that was on the radio all the time in 1974. Rita can’t hear it without thinking of an early crush and the extreme letdown that ensued. (see Kung Fu Fighting by Carl Douglas) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SobQQWTmfbA

Iggy Pop

King of all and possibly related to Rita.

Geology of the Cranium

We randomly pull from our special cigar box of suggested words and ideas, a slip of paper that says “Geology of the Cranium” and go from there.

The Benefits of Dog Math

We selfishly profit from Laszlo the Schnauzer’s ability to target his caloric burn.

Nuns

Mixed memories for the two of us. Rita’s are benevolent. Phil’s are more traumatic.

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